Gratitude

Gratitude: The state of being grateful; thankfulness.
Thankful :Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful. Expressive of gratitude



It is said by many wise men and women to always live in a state of gratitude. A nice sentiment and certainly words to live by, but what does it truly mean? To be, meaning to exist, in a state of complete contentment and thankfulness is not something that fits in with our schedule. We have so much to do and so little time, and money to do it with. There is always something to buy, to fix, to get, to leave, it seems we are always in the past (regretting) or in the future (worrying).



When was the last time you stopped and let gratitude fill your entire being, so much so that it seemed to overwhelm you? To let love and compassion and mercy overtake your soul until nothing is left. It's in you but are you in it? We have unending peace, love, joy, happiness, faithfulness, kindness and compassion walled up inside us, but we keep it there because bliss doesn't seem to be very efficient in running our daily lives. I mean, if we lived in the moment and walked around in perfect peace and contentment who would do the laundry or cook or clean or pay the bills or get the dry cleaning? Really, is being filled to the brim practical in a forward moving world?



On the other hand, if we dig deep into that part of us where true joy and oneness with our Lord exist, do we think we can handle it? Are we ready for that kind of trust, intimacy, fire and passion? To abandon ourselves to our present moment, good, bad or indifferent, means to abandon ourselves to Him. That kind of intimacy will not be experienced with anyone in our lifetimes, not even our spouses. In that moment of unity with Him we are closer to Him than we are to our mothers in their wombs, or our children in ours. We are more intimate with Him than a husband and wife in their marriage chamber. When we are in our moments, we are in Him. In Him we live and move and have our being. Be in Him and great moments will happen. Beyond your wildest imagining...

Why Am I So Rebellious

I have been going through a rough patch. My husband was recently diagnosed with Diabetes and I have the begginings of an ulcer. It has been a hard month or so, and I have felt almost like God has removed his presence from me. I couldn't pray, keep focused in church, or even think about God for any length of time. For me, this is not normal.

I was really thinking about it yesterday and I came to the realization, God had not moved, I had moved. God had set me up to be a keeper at home and I rebelled and went back to work. God had put the conviction in my heart to wear a covering at church, and I stopped because no one else was doing it. God gave me a heart to serve my husband, but when things didn't go my way I blamed him. God didn't change, I changed.

I think God let these past few things happen not to punish me, but to wake me up to the sin I was falling into. God litereally gave me the push I needed! I fell at work and hurt my wrist, not severely, but enough to get my attention and keep me from work . Now, I am back at home, where I belong for now.

So, I say "Okay God, I'm tired of running and doing things my way. I will do what you give me the heart to do. I will be a keeper at home, a lover of my husband, a kind smile in a hard world, the odd one with the covering at church. Lord, I want to do it your way, the only way."

Pursuit

I hear your Word
I call your name,
I try to do better
Am I the one to blame?

I go to Church, I praise you
I’m so devout
I worship you, I love you
Won’t you hear me out?

Give me some sign
Make something better
A forgotten rhyme
A hidden letter

Lord, you gotta help me
Just make it real
Make me see the truth
Lord, help me feel

Cause the way things are going
I don’t understand
Which way this rivers flowing
Falling through my hand

From On High

"Where are you going?" she asks me.

"I'm going to the mainland," I reply, "There's something there to learn."

"What is it you wish to learn?"

"I want to know where the rock is," I say, "Then I will have my answer."

"What is the question, child?"

"I can't say now. It's not for me to know the question, only the answer."

"Why do you speak with cryptic effigy and sacred faces?"

"That is how you taught me, and the pupil has learned well."

"Write it down and store it up, so the passers won't know why."

"I've done that already, and still they know me. The heat flows from my hands."

Queen of Swords

The guarded virgins in their castle keep
Watch in jaded silence
The revolt of the masses dreamless sleep
Tells of times in violence

Unconquerable fortress, cold stone wall
Reflect in hardened eyes
Mesmerized by the good man's fall
The fools will greet the wise

Generous hearts are thrown aside
For greed and jealous lust
Truth is now a slippery slide
Their faith has turned to rust

The guarded virgins in their castle keep
Speak a cryptic warning
The forgotten kingdom and her people weep
The time has come for mourning

Illumination

Shine on me Sun of my heart,
Make the shore of sorrow glisten,
Beneath your cheeful gaze,
Help this Red Sea part

Smile on me Moon of my night,
Soften the earth and her shapes,
With your silver rays of Grace,
And your tender, forgiving light

Burn for me Star of my grieving,
Let me forget what you were about,
Twinkle and dance for me no more,
Your glory was so decieving

The Raccoon in the Sewer

It's very rainy and a little chilly as my husband and I leave my restaurant. We hurry to the car and turn on the heat, despite it being 80 something degrees out. I shiver a little and settle in the seat while my husband pulls out. As we pause at a stop sign, I look out and down at something sticking out of a storm sewer. I gasped as I saw a little distressed face and two very human-like paws.



"It's a raccoon," I am immediately sick to my stomach as I tell my husband to stop. I jump out of the car and go to it's rain soaked prison. The little beastie makes eye contact with me and tries to shimmy himself down through the grate, but no luck. His head gets caught and all that's peeking out is his nose and two little feet. It looks as though I just told him this was a stick up.



I talk to him, as if he could understand me, and try to let him know I will help him. I've had previous experiences with raccoons before, such as feeding them by hand after calling them from the forest, so I think he may have understood my intent because he stared straight into my eyes as I stood over him. I thought of my cat at home and how much they resembled each other and my heart sank a little lower.



I got back in the car and discussed options with my husband. Should we call animal control? What else can we do?



"I know," says my husband " Go back to you restaurant and get some oil. I'll try to lube him up so he can slip through."



"Well, how can I go back? We can't leave him. Someone will run over him!" I was feeling a hint of desperation rise in my voice.



"I'll stay here with the umbrella and you go back with the car and get the oil." He pulls the umbrella from the back seat and walks over to the little prisoner in the street. I race back to the restaurant and ask for a cup of oil. My co-workers look at me, but concede to my strange request.



"For Kaite, anything..."



I quickly explain the situation, which just left them more confused and I race out the door back to my Knight in Shining Armor and his little ward. I handed him the cup full of oil and as he lubes up the raccoon I call animal control. Some help they are! They keep bankers hours and aren't even in on Saturdays! So here I am watching my darling husband oil up a raccoon in a sewer grate and I wonder...why do I care so much? I suppose it's the golden rule coming into play. If I was stuck in a sewer grate because my butt was too big, I hope someone would oil me up and save me from myself!



So we are at our wits end with this. The grate is too heavy for just the both of us to lift and no one is going to help us...so we thought. When all hope seemed gone, a Suburban pulls up and two young men jump out of the back. They want to help, although I don't think they knew a raccoon, and not a flat tire, was our problem!



They lifted the grate and that raccoon fell out of it lickety split! It would almost be comical, if we weren't so concerned. I think the young men were more amused with us, rather than with a slippery rodent. So he scurried off to safety in the bowels of the sewer system, and I was relieved to say the least.



I now have more faith in humanity and I admire my husband even more. If we could have compassion for a wild animal, how much more should we have for each other?