Gratitude

Gratitude: The state of being grateful; thankfulness.
Thankful :Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful. Expressive of gratitude



It is said by many wise men and women to always live in a state of gratitude. A nice sentiment and certainly words to live by, but what does it truly mean? To be, meaning to exist, in a state of complete contentment and thankfulness is not something that fits in with our schedule. We have so much to do and so little time, and money to do it with. There is always something to buy, to fix, to get, to leave, it seems we are always in the past (regretting) or in the future (worrying).



When was the last time you stopped and let gratitude fill your entire being, so much so that it seemed to overwhelm you? To let love and compassion and mercy overtake your soul until nothing is left. It's in you but are you in it? We have unending peace, love, joy, happiness, faithfulness, kindness and compassion walled up inside us, but we keep it there because bliss doesn't seem to be very efficient in running our daily lives. I mean, if we lived in the moment and walked around in perfect peace and contentment who would do the laundry or cook or clean or pay the bills or get the dry cleaning? Really, is being filled to the brim practical in a forward moving world?



On the other hand, if we dig deep into that part of us where true joy and oneness with our Lord exist, do we think we can handle it? Are we ready for that kind of trust, intimacy, fire and passion? To abandon ourselves to our present moment, good, bad or indifferent, means to abandon ourselves to Him. That kind of intimacy will not be experienced with anyone in our lifetimes, not even our spouses. In that moment of unity with Him we are closer to Him than we are to our mothers in their wombs, or our children in ours. We are more intimate with Him than a husband and wife in their marriage chamber. When we are in our moments, we are in Him. In Him we live and move and have our being. Be in Him and great moments will happen. Beyond your wildest imagining...

Why Am I So Rebellious

I have been going through a rough patch. My husband was recently diagnosed with Diabetes and I have the begginings of an ulcer. It has been a hard month or so, and I have felt almost like God has removed his presence from me. I couldn't pray, keep focused in church, or even think about God for any length of time. For me, this is not normal.

I was really thinking about it yesterday and I came to the realization, God had not moved, I had moved. God had set me up to be a keeper at home and I rebelled and went back to work. God had put the conviction in my heart to wear a covering at church, and I stopped because no one else was doing it. God gave me a heart to serve my husband, but when things didn't go my way I blamed him. God didn't change, I changed.

I think God let these past few things happen not to punish me, but to wake me up to the sin I was falling into. God litereally gave me the push I needed! I fell at work and hurt my wrist, not severely, but enough to get my attention and keep me from work . Now, I am back at home, where I belong for now.

So, I say "Okay God, I'm tired of running and doing things my way. I will do what you give me the heart to do. I will be a keeper at home, a lover of my husband, a kind smile in a hard world, the odd one with the covering at church. Lord, I want to do it your way, the only way."